Forgiveness in our Families

Forgiveness in Families

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”

-The Family: A Proclamation to the World (Link to the Proclamation) 

Opening Song: Help Me, Dear Father (Children’s Songbook) 

Who has ever been offended? How did you feel in that situation?

Have you ever forgiven someone? How did that feel?

Doesn’t it feel better to forgive than to hold onto things that have offended us? 

Scriptures on Forgiveness:

•  D&C 64:10- we are commanded to forgive others
• Moroni 6:8- God forgives us as often as we need. To forgive others is divine. 
•  D&C 89:39-40- we should forgive our enemies. Whether or not they come asking for our forgiveness.

How Do We Forgive? (taken from “Successful Marriages and Families" by Hawkins, Dollahite, and Draper)

1.       Recall the hurt- Sometimes we try to just forget, but to forgive we have to be clear about the wrongdoing.

2.       Empathize- We need to understand the offender’s feelings to forgive.

3.       Offer the altruistic gift of forgiveness- This is easier when you are humble and aware of your own shortcomings.

4.       Commit publicly to forgive- Making the forgiveness formal by telling someone about it gives you a better chance of really forgiving.

5.       Hold on to forgiveness- Move forward. Don’t dwell on the offense but remember you have chosen to forgive. 

More Thoughts on Forgiveness

• “To forgive is good, but to forgo -- to not take offense in the first place such that we need to forgive something -- is better, higher, and holier.”- Bonds That Make Us Free

•  Forgoing is not only better, but easier! Make your life easier and choose not to be offended.

•  “It ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” –Elder Bednar (And Nothing Shall Offend Them) 

• Prayer helps to heal relationships. Pray and ask Heavenly Father to help you forgive and to restore harmony to your relationships.

·         Additional readings on forgiveness

o   Forgiveness talk by Gordon B. Hinckley October 2005

o   DivineForgiveness talk by Ronald E. Poelman October 1993

o   Peace ofConscience and Peace of Mind talk by Richard G. Scott October 2004

o   AndNothing Shall Offend Them talk by David A. Bednar October 2006

Watch this video on forgiveness:

Closing Song: “Love One Another” (Children’s Songbook)